Post it #1
I was standing by the sink today and I realised how much I miss talking to you.
I went to Maine the last few days. Remember you told me you checked out on Acadia National Park? Standing on top of the Cadillac Mountain reminded me so much of our Grampians Trip I had tears welled up just admiring the view. As strange as it was, I could feel you right next to me. That at any moment when I turn around, you would be there with your trusty camera snapping beautiful pictures and would call out to me to pose for a shot.
Can I let you in on a secret?
I spoke to the wind. Almost like I was trying to tell you how I felt and wished for the wind to pass along the message through your dreams.
Silly, isn't it?
Something stupid happened to me the other day too. So stupid I can almost see you face palming and going: "Oh honeh...".
You see, I left my brains back home. This double degree holder holds no sense of people skills nor in fact...any sense at all.
It all happened when I had no dinner (but wasn't hungry) and a very kind and sweet Ella decided to offer me bread. Without thinking I accepted the offer only to realise upon looking at it, I felt violently ill. Stupid brain decided to continue to not function properly and i threw the bread away. At the restaurant itself.
I suppose by now you are going:"ohh...noo u didn't." Ohhh yes i did.
She saw it the next day and felt hurt that i threw the bread away. I was informed of it (and was properly lectured on it as well) and quickly apologised to her.
But the damage is done. No more bread for me.
I felt like an asshole. Still do.
And for some reason, I knew that by telling you, I would feel better. That both of us would make a joke out of it and then you would go on advising me what I should do next and everything would be okay.
But it was not to be. For once, I had to face this humiliation on my own. Literally. Emotionally.
And I have not felt so alone.
******
Today was also my off day so I got to have some movie marathon on my own.
I watched I am Number Four again.
And relived all the laughs we had at some of the scenes. Remember how we laughed when you pointed out that towards the end of the show, how sturdy and hardy the emergency doors were that even after such a great blast that blew the entire football stadium, only the windows were damaged.
Oh! When Number Six hot girl showed up and the look on Number Four's girlfriend (Dianna Agron) when she saw her! Lol. We had a good laugh at that.
And when the dog got hurt...I instinctively reached for you...or...what was there..
*****
I know we promised not to talk until i get home. So this is my way of telling you stories. My way of reminding myself of what I had. To let myself slowly understand what love is.
But please don't comment back. Or write anything to make me feel better.
I went to Maine the last few days. Remember you told me you checked out on Acadia National Park? Standing on top of the Cadillac Mountain reminded me so much of our Grampians Trip I had tears welled up just admiring the view. As strange as it was, I could feel you right next to me. That at any moment when I turn around, you would be there with your trusty camera snapping beautiful pictures and would call out to me to pose for a shot.
Can I let you in on a secret?
I spoke to the wind. Almost like I was trying to tell you how I felt and wished for the wind to pass along the message through your dreams.
Silly, isn't it?
Something stupid happened to me the other day too. So stupid I can almost see you face palming and going: "Oh honeh...".
You see, I left my brains back home. This double degree holder holds no sense of people skills nor in fact...any sense at all.
It all happened when I had no dinner (but wasn't hungry) and a very kind and sweet Ella decided to offer me bread. Without thinking I accepted the offer only to realise upon looking at it, I felt violently ill. Stupid brain decided to continue to not function properly and i threw the bread away. At the restaurant itself.
I suppose by now you are going:"ohh...noo u didn't." Ohhh yes i did.
She saw it the next day and felt hurt that i threw the bread away. I was informed of it (and was properly lectured on it as well) and quickly apologised to her.
But the damage is done. No more bread for me.
I felt like an asshole. Still do.
And for some reason, I knew that by telling you, I would feel better. That both of us would make a joke out of it and then you would go on advising me what I should do next and everything would be okay.
But it was not to be. For once, I had to face this humiliation on my own. Literally. Emotionally.
And I have not felt so alone.
******
Today was also my off day so I got to have some movie marathon on my own.
I watched I am Number Four again.
And relived all the laughs we had at some of the scenes. Remember how we laughed when you pointed out that towards the end of the show, how sturdy and hardy the emergency doors were that even after such a great blast that blew the entire football stadium, only the windows were damaged.
Oh! When Number Six hot girl showed up and the look on Number Four's girlfriend (Dianna Agron) when she saw her! Lol. We had a good laugh at that.
And when the dog got hurt...I instinctively reached for you...or...what was there..
*****
I know we promised not to talk until i get home. So this is my way of telling you stories. My way of reminding myself of what I had. To let myself slowly understand what love is.
But please don't comment back. Or write anything to make me feel better.
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