Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde?

I went through my old blog posts from my old blog and i realised the distinct difference of my entries. So much has since happened. So much has since changed. 

It is like I was transported into a parallel universe where what was happy, perfect and wonderful is shattered and every day I taste salt from the tears shed. 

What happened? All it took was less than 5 months. Everything changed. I am no longer who I am any more. 

Do people change so drastically over such short duration of time? 

I suppose at extreme circumstances people do. But I am not under duress. Neither am I being held captive against my will. 

I just tasted freedom. 

It's ironic how freedom comes in a hefty price. It's a funny story really. I am in a free country, free to do as I please and yet, I am restrained - hands held back by invisible forces that are under the guise of concerns. The circumstance that I am in: no transportation, no communication, and to be coup up in the house feels like a prison. 

I am caged. A bird that was free but was caught and had its wings clipped. It's painful. It's suffocating. 

It's a battle of wits. A part of me seeks the comforts of home. A part of me fights back to seek the risks, the freedom, and it reaches to the rebellion side of me. A side of me I am unfamiliar with. A side of me I had not known existed. 

I don't know of God's plans for me. I hope I am going to the right path. I pray I am.